2018 is over and we are just a few days into 2019.
With a new year comes new inputs, ideas, challenges, acquaintances, memories, habits and so forth. And failures. Or challenges as I call it.
Most of us see it as a failure if we cannot do things to the point of perfectionism. If we, somehow, do not manage to keep a new habit or lifestyle we tend to punish ourselves big time. It is an all-or-nothing way of thinking. There is no such thing as ‘perfect’ - is there? Perfect should cover being okay with oneself or others, trying to do our best, but with room for mistakes or challenges.
Personally, I believe it is all about the small things we do in our everyday life and deciding to do them. It takes time to adapt to new habits and just because you do not strictly stick to something should not mean that you have ruined it or that you are a failure, a loser or what else you might think of yourself.
Your mental attitude and determination is the key to what will help you get through these bumps. You are the one, who is able to decide, where you want to go. A little support from friends and family helps a great deal, too!
We cannot control the outside world, but we can choose how we let it influence our state of mind.
Attitude and approach
Reverse psychology can be a great help during dark times. For instance, a better word for ‘mistakes’, ‘failures’ or bumps’ is ‘CHALLENGES’.
Try to see your setbacks as challenges and have the attitude that you can overcome these and hang in there. Optimism can lead you far. Positive reflections at the end of the day can also prepare you for the coming day that gives you a new chance of moving on with your positive changes.
Your attitude and approach to life are fundamental if you want to make positive changes. Proactively, ‘Fake it ‘till you make it’ can be very useful to feel empowered, competent and worthy enough to make those changes.
Try manifesting your wishes, highlight your personal accomplishments and tell yourself that you can do this - no matter if there will be bumps on the way, because there will be.
Being proactive with daily affirmations can over time boost your motivation and eventually you will start believing in those words you support yourself with on a daily basis. It can keep up your spirit in the midst of your life’s difficulties and for some be the only support you will get in the beginning. But as you rise and walk down your new path towards a new and more positive choice like-minded people will slowly enter your life and enrich it.
Attracting others with your newfound energy and enthusiasm can even inspire others and lead them down a better path. Win! You will rise from your self-pity and move on as if you are on a mission. You got this!
Accept and embrace imperfectionism
Expectations are high in these digital times, where filters can save your wrinkly forehead and dark circles under your eyes. But this is - if you really
think about it - NOT a picture of reality. It is simply not real.
How come did we end up here?
Why is the authentic you such a non-accepted thing that desperately needs a filter before posting? Why even the need for posting?
Be real: Honesty, rawness and expectations
Change because you want to. Not because others are expecting you to do so. Discuss the struggles you have along the way and seek help and support without feeling embarrassed about it.
YOU decide to reach out for a helping hand does not mean that you have failed because you simply could not do it on your own. See it as a strength that you are asking for support. You will definitely have a bigger chance for overcoming the little bumps, challenges, if you have someone to help you get back up on the saddle.
Why has it become such a taboo to ask for help? Try to seek out for people who has maybe been in a situation like you, but who is in a good place in life now. Take the risk of going towards leading a happier life. It is your own choice. It is yours alone - and no one can take that from you. Let your authentic self rise above passiveness.
Simplify: Making things slightly easier
Western society has lost the ability and joy of living simply and being present. I cannot stress this enough - but by simplifying different aspects - or areas - in your life one step at a time (and also repeatedly), you can really become a much calmer person and spend less time on worrying about things or looking for stuff due to clutter.
Again, your goal here is not perfection. It is a happier, more simple and stress-free life that eventually can lead to better habits and effectivity, which basically means more time in life to do the things that really matter and are so much more worthy of your time. Focus on now and be present. Don’t stay stuck in the past - for it is the past.
However, it is important to deal with baggage, but seek help to get such things sorted out. You have the chance to get up and change the course of your life, whether it is about a lifestyle, weight loss, your financial businesses, ditching bad habits, decluttering your life etc.
Learn to let things go by keeping it simple instead of complicated. Spend time with positive people and know that negative talk is like the plague.
----- Let it be - By letting It go --------
Clearing your mind is also an important aspect of simplifying. Obsessing about ‘little’ things that you allow to take a whole lot of and space in your head and drain energy from you is a toxic way of living… and a waste of life that could be lived more happily.
Dwelling for too long over ‘small’ things are simply unhealthy. If you have ongoing ruminating thoughts or are feeling down there are many helplines you can contact, where there is someone who is listening and understanding your situation.
Gratitude attitude: Kindness towards others - and yourself
We need to forgive ourselves, just as much as we need to forgive others. Get out of vicious cycles and start living from your heart. When you live your best life being your authentic self you learn how to love yourself, because you stop the constant attempt to pleasing others, but instead prioritize yourself and your needs.
Taking care of yourself makes it so much easier taking care of others.
How we speak to ourselves also has an enormous impact on our self-image. It is all about treating oneself as one would a good friend. How would you speak to a dear friend or family member, who was not ‘perfect’? Do you speak like that to yourself? A great help is to adopt an attitude of gratitude and to continuously remind yourself of your qualities and progress.
If you are kind to yourself that self-love will spread like rings in the water. Again, we all have bad days - which is by the way totally okay - but try giving a compliment to someone, because you want to, even though you might be terrified of doing so. You might even make someone’s day. How cool is that!
Reconsider your priorities. Focus on health and happiness. Being kind to yourself and others also includes caring for the environment and the animals in it.
I wish you a good attitude, determination and an everyday life full of love to yourself and others in the New Year.
If you are already on the path of change try to remind yourself of the bare fact that you have already come as far as making a decision to change.
THINK AGAIN, EARTH FRIEND ♡
This Month's Writer is the talented & Dear Friend:
Ninna Helene Meacock (b. 1986) holds a Master of Arts in Cultural Communication with a focus on Urbanity & Aesthetics from Copenhagen University, Denmark & Freie Universität Berlin, Germany.
She loves to put all sorts of music on (everything from bluegrass and baroque to dark synthwave and 60s psych) and cook plant-based food from scratch.
She also enjoys writing and creating art in her home studio. When she’s not biking around Copenhagen, she enjoys travelling the world and experiencing different cultures.